Covid-19 Dreaming

We are not alone…

It’s an interesting time for all of us, if you’re anything like us (i.e. good girls and boys), you’ve been at home for quite a while. For us it’s been about 10 weeks, I believe. While for many, the stresses of Covid-19 and the inability to live life as “normal” as before is causing a weird phenomena in the form of vivid dreams.

Now, I have always had very vivid dreams. For me, things haven’t really changed much. The biggest difference is the level of darker themes I’ve experienced. I am an avid dreamer that usually enjoys her dreams, they make great fodder for writing (of which I do often). Some of my biggest ideas come from dreams, which I’m grateful for. All of us, however, may not feel the same.

I am dreaming almost daily and recalling in great detail the stories within my dreams. They vary:

Adventures through battles and great evils where I am or watching a good guy vs. bad guy scenario.
Recalling past relationships and friendships and imagining what they are up to now.
Working through some kind of problem or situation that involves magic or some kind of sci-fi element that’s either within my ability to procure or just out of reach.

Recent news says, it’s super common. Since the nationwide lockdowns and everyone staying at home, most people have begun to dream more and more vividly. For me, dreaming is like watching the ultimate film with multiple angles and perspectives, timeline jumps, and story lines that would otherwise make no sense seem to be taken as fact. Maybe because I am accustomed to dreaming at that level and learning from them, they don’t seem that bad but the consistency is definitely much more than I have ever experienced.

“According to Stacey Jenkins, a psychotherapist and Jungian analyst in Toronto, used the analogy of an ocean to describe our subconscious, with fish representing the contents of our dreams.”

It makes sense. We are normally too busy with life for introspection, let alone remembering bizarre dreams from the previous night. And if you are anything like me, you often have those dreams that seem to float away with the rising of the morning sun.

“Imants Baruss, a psychology professor at Western University in London, Ont….those able to wake up naturally without an alarm clock — will likely have better dream recollection.”

Absolutely! I’ve been training myself to become a morning person (in order to find time to work on personal projects), but every day I have an especially vivid dream I am waking up before my alarm clock and with plenty of detail at hand.

“Sleep specialist Amanda Jewson says peoples’ sleeping patterns — not just their dreams — are being upended by the increase in stress and anxiety surrounding the coronavirus threat. That stress in turn raises cortisol and adrenalin levels, making it difficult to fall asleep at night.”

Apparently, twitter and Reddit are spreading #pandemicdreams and #covidnightmares like hot cakes. The world has never had such a “universal stresser” as Covid-19, like ever. When in history, has the world felt trapped in varying levels of shitty buses which in turn has ended up being the same shitty bus.

It kind of sucks but also kind of makes the entire experience unifying. We are all experiencing similar levels of anxiety, once again reminding us that we are not as different as we all think. I’m sure once the world goes back to ‘normal’ we’ll go back to being our unkind selves but for the near future I hope we learn something profound from this experience.

And it profoundly changes something deep within us.

sources: COVID dreams? Pandemic stress, more free time could be leading to vivid visions. https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/coronavirus/covid-dreams-pandemic-stress-more-free-time-could-be-leading-to-vivid-visions-1.4900252. Date accessed: May 4, 2020. Published: April 17, 2020.

Why Covid-19 Quarantine Dreams Are Taking Over the Internet. https://www.wired.com/story/coronavirus-covid-19-dreams/. Date accessed: May 6, 2020. Published April 16, 2020.

The Culture of Apologizing I Want to Get Away From

I thought about the way I let my anxiety and grief for the life I am living fuel a previous blog post. I thought about issuing an apology instead of letting myself feel and accept my feelings in that moment. That is what I felt. That’s why I wrote what I did.

I am not an insta-mom. I may never be, but the constant mom-shaming hit a nerve when I had already had my fill. It’s not on purpose we do it, but it’s often times our own inadequate selves that remind us of the raw nerves we leave exposed for others to pester.

These are our pressure points, the things we fear others knowing about ourselves because they would immediately create a reaction, both negative and severe. We are nothing if not complicated and faulty human beings.

But why do we do it to ourselves? Why do feel ill prepared to confront our demons in mature, rational ways and instead take to the often cryptic social media posts? Even going down the social media rabbit hole can create feelings of dissatisfaction and even depression for some or does it?

Last July the journal JAMA published Association of Screen Time and Depression in Adolescence, a study looking at the effects of social media and screen time on depression in adolescents. Conclusive proof? No. While there were differences between longer usage, it was less than a point 1 difference on a 28-point scale. But countless research has been done and there is a correlation even if there is no causation. Everyone’s relationship with social media is different.

Is it a way to feel connected? Wondering if there are others out there dealing with the same worries and delusions of grandeur? Do we internalize social anxiety and create undue stress according our own insecurities? So many questions!

Why is it often easier to speak with strangers than friends for fear of judgement?

Why do we fear to be judged? The roots of social anxiety?

What is Social Anxiety, according to webmd:

Being judged by others in social situations
Being embarrassed or humiliated — and showing it by blushing, sweating, or shaking
Accidentally offending someone
Being the center of attention

I don’t have social anxiety, yet. I’m an ambivert and can manage the situation but I do act differently when I feel the signs of social anxiety, sometimes counter to what I would normally do. I ‘give in’ or go the path of least resistance because I’ve been negatively affected by being raised in a “traditional” background. As some people might say it’s a trigger.

With quarantine continuing strong, we are really starting to feel it. It’s now more important than ever to tap your social circles, keep-up-to-date with those you may have fallen out of the loop with, and continue to make connections. Keep connecting with people that you may have been too nervous to contact before, it’s a perfect time. If nothing else, you know they will get the email.

No one has any idea what quarantine will do to our mental health, not really. Like a collective trauma we must all endure it’s something we need to deal with because the reality is that life must go on.

So learn those coping strategies, meditate, exercise, repeat those mantras that may have felt silly before. We need to infuse positivity! It is the only way we will keep our head above water and not follow others into the negativity rabbit hole.

I’m not a medical professional but if you do require the services of one, don’t be afraid to reach out to them. No one will judge you for it.

Dimples

You are taller today.

Taller than you were yesterday but I can still see the dimples of infancy from certain angles.

Every day you amaze me.

Amaze me in how you think, how you see the world.

You are learning to argue your point without intelligible words, for you have very little. But that does not stop you from making the argument.

You are learning to manipulate the world around you, instinctively bending it to your will.

Today you showed me a future version of yourself.

Remember the bath? The time you run away from? The time that makes you run into a beloved’s arms? You tried to hide your fear by pretending to sleep even so far as to pretend to snore.

How I adore you! You are learning so much everyday. Your father questions your creativity because he has forgotten his own. Running to shadowy corners and whispering to oneself is far from sanity for an adult but for a child it is full of wonder.

You quietly ponder the sun, watching it go from a pale intruder to a full blown partner in crime. You quietly make sure you are not heard, although that is sometimes forgotten in your excitement. Why those around are not brimming with joy at the rising sun you seem to ponder.

But sometimes you give in to the quiet, you’re curiosities stilled for a moment of reprieve although today you will not go peacefully. You see things we have forgotten with the invisible eye. Things that captivate your attention as does your favourite Peppa. One does wish it weren’t so.

But the full repercussions are not felt until deep into the future. I did my best or a form there in. But I am always here, always learning with you.

For you remind me to look at the world with curiosity. With sloppy kisses and giggles, for we are much to young to be without light and love.

Stronger Together| Tous Ensemble

I don’t know about you but this was an amazing weekend. For many reasons, one of which was it was our first time taking our baby outside for a walk.

(We went the overanxious route since there’s pre-existing conditions for grandma, but when there’s nice weather we go out behind the building).

We also watched Stronger Together, the Canadian musical concert raising funds for Food Bank Canada. Not only was it for a good cause but some of Canada’s biggest artists participated, like really from all over, wherever they may be. It was a great way to know who’s Canadian in the world of entertainment, for us that didn’t already know. It was really good.

With the last world concert One World Together at Home, while I’m a big fan of late night they had 1/3 of my favorite hosts, but in it they had both great performances with great music and celebrity endorsements just like this one.

There were moments of heart-wrenching stories that brought tears to my eyes. Any time any one mentions thanking first responders I get a lump in my throat.

And although the focus was thanking essential personnel, it was good that all were included. From sanitation workers to grocery store clerks to doctors and nurses that were sometimes the last faces loved ones saw before they succumbed to the illness. There were great reasons for it:

It raised nearly 6 million dollars
It showcased Canadian talent, like most of us have never seen them before (literally, haircuts anyone?)
It brought to light an interesting discussion in my house about corruption

My husband grew up in a world where corruption was as blatant as the sky above. Whether through the sharing of oral stories or the outlandish brandishing of information in the now digital age, China has a reputation. One that doesn’t necessarily create the illusion of transparency and let’s not pretend that the US is really all that different, especially now.

But having grown up with so much distrust creates an individual that is wary of anyone and any organization claiming to do good in the world for goods’ sake. The idea of altruism for him is a farce. And while I don’t hold the same cynical point of view I do understand the need to express caution.

The misinformation running rampant through our society is a sign of greater darkness within. Where a false or misunderstood sentiment could be construed not only as malicious but downright negligent i.e. President Trump’s briefings come to mind, and there is very little we can do about it. Or is there? As soon as one post or video is taken down another one takes its place with a different algorithm to hide its seedy truth, like the hydra of myth one head taken down produces two more.

According to CBC News, “Ninety per cent of Canadians say they have fallen for fake news online…”

Journolink says, “45% of adults in the UK believe they encounter fake news every single day….“

Journalism.org states, “nearly seven-in-ten U.S. adults (68%) say made-up news and information greatly impacts Americans’ confidence in government institutions, and roughly half (54%) say it is having a major impact on our confidence in each other.”

The impact, however, is less that it exists or that we can unknowingly perpetuate it. The greatest risk is that it takes away from a person’s ability to trust information, and that is the biggest effect of so-called fake news.

But let’s hope that we are all trying to make the world a bit better and safer for all those around us, there is still hope for intention, no matter how many hellish paths it may pave. It’s no longer an individualized society we are dealing with, we are beyond global for that.

My biggest concern is where do we go from here?

Any suggestions?

How Covid-19 showed me I’m the World’s Worst Mother

I Don’t Know How To Be A Good Mom

Everyone has their doubts, their internal demons and what they secretly tell themselves they are bad at, whether or not the world agrees. It usually takes serious intervention in order to keep these “downer demons” at bay, but when you have nothing to do except think during quarantine– they can definitely rear their ugly heads.

“All over the world, people are being quarantined and are being compelled to practice social distancing. We are trying desperately to remain sane in a world that seems bordering on the insane. So, the time is just right for us to ponder, reflect, meditate, and discover the world within our own minds.”
― Avijeet Das

I have never been what one would call “maternal”. I am not very nurturing or thoughtful and I’m not very appraised on the concerns of a toddler besides the necessities. She is hitting her “milestones” but did I know that was a thing? Who does as a new parent? Even before having a child, the only children I knew I was either related to or they had the misfortune of being one of the 700 kids I taught while on a brief stint in Suzhou, China.

Even as a child, my favorite games were playing by myself, imagining conversations with my dolls and stuffed animals, and reading- all pretty solitary activities. And while I am now a stay-at-home mother I did it begrudgingly. We had just moved to a new country and my husband was still distrustful of others caring for her. Not only was I ill-prepared for the functions of rearing a child, few are, I had always been of the philosophy that children are a part of your life, not the other way around. So, was I resentful that I was the one at home? Of course, hence my postpartum issues.

There are certain things that made me the worst at domesticated activities, ever.

Cooking

Food has always been fuel, or in my case as an escapist strategy when I felt emotional, bored or even depressed. It was never seen as the great equalizer, bringing people together in times of holiday or happiness although that did happen as a child. Even as an adult I was never great at much beyond the basics, and I was OK with that. Now I seemed to have been expected to be able to whip up grand dinners and snacks with the ability to make well-balanced cry of contentment.

I made the above as attempts at baking and creating treats, I’ve heard that’s rather popular these days. Left is Rice Krispies treats and right is classic corn bread.

Cleaning

Now I am not a gross person, I do have good hygiene and such, especially now (anyone have dry hands?) but I’m a little messy. I don’t know how Maria Kondo does it or any parent without deep pinteresting and IG skills do it. I have cleaned and cleaned during this pandemic and yet, it’s still cluttered! I can’t get rid of it! I organize and set in order, cleaned out half my closet of clothes I no longer needed or wanted, and, cleaned out half my closet of clothes I no longer needed or wanted, and it’s still not enough. I don’t have in order, cleaned out half my closet of clothes I no longer needed or wanted, and, cleaned out half my closet of clothes I no longer needed or wanted, and it’s still not enough! I can no longer go out and buy the organizational stacking tools everyone seems to use and it still feels like clutter central. Help!

I don’t even know where to begin with her corner, throw it all out and start again?

Education

I spent my days prior to Covid-19 taking my daughter to preschool, baby activities, and play groups. These kept our mornings busy then we’d go home and have lunch and take a nap. The classes ranged from gym class to art and even reading books in the library. The first week of March was Spring Break and the second week of March classes in Montreal were canceled and public events followed soon after. We have been at home for over a month now and I am at my wit’s end. I don’t know how home educators, preschool teachers, and others do it. Keeping a 22 month old occupied has been the hardest thing I have ever done.

I have worked in learning and development for years, was a director of training and development for a corporation and I am stumped in a cyclical Pinterest fog. While trying to keep her occupied and not spend too much time on watching tv and still work on the things that make me sane, because again I’m selfish. Reading, writing, and researching L&D themes are just not interesting topics for a toddler. I know that all parents that are really working from home with full-time jobs and small children are in the same boat. We have one of those too, during work calls no one is allowed near his computer i.e. the living room.

So we went from classes lead by professional childhood educators to my versions and since we can’t go out and buy all the materials needed, mostly D-I-Y.

I’m most proud of that top one and thanks to sites like Happy Toddler Play Time, I can attempt to make our activities educational of sorts.

Personally, I don’t think I will ever have the ability or focus of becoming a grade A preschool educator and that’s never been my intent, but I sure do miss being able to take my daughter somewhere to keep her actually learning. So I can once again selfishly keep working on the things that keep me entertained.

To all the parents out there working from home, we hear you!

Rethinking 2020 Resolutions

Photo by bongkarn thanyakij on Pexels.com

Since Covid-19 has upended the world and we’re about to start a new quarter and maybe even a new way of life even in the temporary, I wanted to take a look at what I had planned for this year and how different it may look for the rest of the year.

We had plans to discover more of our new home and venture throughout Quebec, obviously this is now on hold. We wanted to go to a new place each year. After our daughter was born, we talked about how we wanted to introduce the world to her. Each year traveling to a new destination that we could learn about as a family.

2020 Goal Inspirations

Travel

This is always on everyone’s resolutions list: Travel more. Last year, we kind of cheated by moving to another country so it was traveling by default and all of the acclimation needed in the process. Although Canada may not appear so unique to the US, Quebec is a different beast altogether. Being the last french frontier, Quebec has bilingualism built in which can be great but still needs a high level of adjustment. When given the option in high school between French, German, Japanese and Latin- I took the one class that I knew I would need in the future: Latin! 🙂

So I even took a french course last fall and am hoping to continue this year. I’m still looking forward to visiting sites throughout the city and province and eventually re-discover all the beauties Canada has to offer.

Canada: A Country of So Much Natural Beauty

Priorities in 2020

In January, I read a book called, The Year of Less

by Cait Flanders.

It was touted as a memoir on minimalistic behavior changes in order to improve life. While it was more memoir than minimilastic guide, it was still an interesting read and one could still learn some things from it.

Some of my takeaways:

You don’t know how many toiletries you have until you go through them. All those half-empty bottles of shampoo and conditioner or lotion just seem to have kept piling up. I went through and cleaned out what was out of date and whatever was still good I put on the dresser intending not to buy anything new (I have a problem throwing things away that might have the possibility of being useful. I know I have the makings of a hoarder)

The best thing I did do was clean out half my wardrobe, I had been living on half a wardrobe since January (now it’s kind of irrelevant- mostly sweats these days) but while you’ve got the time it might be soothing of sorts. Just think about all the things you have and all the places you could wear them to, realistically, otherwise you might end up with just sweats and pjs. And always remember if you haven’t worn something in at least two seasons you’re probably not going to wear it again (even if it’s for your fat and skinny collection).

It was interesting to read how she navigated through her addiction problems and was able to whittle her debt down over the course of two years. Definitely something I was trying to tackle, debt management and saving money. This is like going back through my middle school journals and seeing what I was worried about then, that’s how long we’ve been in quarantine!

Positive Outlooks

I was able to accomplish include launching of this blog and my copywriting website www.jsantanawrites.com which I had been toying with for a while but it seems working from home is now everyone’s forte. Not as easy as we all thought right?

One of the things I’m still working on and will probably continue to work on is my health and weight loss since going to the gym is not an option, although cooking all our meals exclusively at home has helped dramatically.

Here’s to a positive outlook and reworking through some of our hopes and dreams from the new year to the new quarter and hoping that we remain safe and healthy amid these trying times. And hey maybe we’ll become expert do-it-yourselfers and realize we can have more fun at home any day.

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Yours and Mine Story

When I found out I was pregnant I cried. Not the tears of joy the movies always portray, but pure terror and fear. Hot, wrenching from your soul tears that burned my face as they streamed down. I was so afraid that my life was going to change, for the worse not the better, and I was scared as hell.

My husband before we had ‘started trying’ had always said he was ready, he was meant to be a father so why did I not feel that same? After my husband, the first person I told was my sister and I remember crying again. Not the same hot tears but there was an uncontrollable sobbing that made the words hard to get out. I’d never felt such fear.

I’ve always been pragmatic but insecurity and fear don’t give a damn, I knew logically I could care for a child. Money was tight but not impossible- others did it on less. I knew my life would be forever changed, my ‘freedom’ would be limited and I would need to be responsible for another person that could judge every insecure step I took in life. I had internalized my inept at maternal instincts that everyone told me I didn’t have because I wasn’t ‘nurturing’. Was I meant to be a bad mother? Was that my cross to bear?

And what kind of world was this to bring a child into, the kind where people judged you based on the color of your skin, on your last name and on the network your parents had built. Would I be able to prepare someone else, someone pure to be able to see the world clearly but not cynically? All these thoughts rummaged through my mind in the time I knew I had gotten pregnant to the time I took the test and confirmed it. I don’t know how people don’t know they are pregnant I knew within days, I could feel that my body was different and no longer my own.

As my body continued to blossom and grow I know that I was lucky, that for all my reservations, I had a rather uncomplicated pregnancy. I continued to travel for work and even worked grave for nearly two months in Lake Tahoe, over the holidays, driving the 8 hours to Vegas for Christmas Eve only to fly back the next day. I refused to change what my ‘normal’ was for someone else, even someone that wasn’t born yet. I wanted no one to have a reason to look at me differently now that I was pregnant. That’s how people lose, that’s how women lose in the corporate world, and I did- let’s be real.

And when my doctor told me I was no longer allowed to fly I was mad. So mad, mainly because what I had been trying to push off, happened inevitably. I was allowed to work remotely but that didn’t mean I was still invited to all the same on goings as before. And there was someone to blame, the growing life inside me. My husband was nothing but joyful, so he was no help, and in another country so not a lot he could do for comfort. I was alone mentally and emotionally and I didn’t know how to reach out.

That feeling of despair followed me throughout the rest of my pregnancy and into the first months of my attempt at motherhood. I self-diagnosed as postpartum depression but there wasn’t much I could do about it. I had a newborn to care for and a partner that was still in another country, I couldn’t allow myself to do anything except what I needed to.

I bathed, breast-fed, and cared for this being that I was responsible for but something about the experience still felt alien to me. Like it wasn’t happening to me, like I was watching someone else’s life on tv, and they were living my life for me. All of the things I had feared were occurring right before my eyes.

My husband was unable to join me in the supportive role I was expecting. I felt disassociated to the child I had given birth to, disconnected somehow. I ended up having to quit my job because I was expected to return to traveling and that didn’t seem conducive to the needs of a newborn. Throughout this transition the only thing that kept me sane was being able to look into my daughter’s eyes and know, in my soul, I loved her.

I don’t know what motherhood is or what it should feel like, it’s only been about two years since I became one and I’m still trying to figure it out. There are moments when I lose myself again, long for the moments of freedom of yesteryear but then she’ll wrap her small arms around my neck and remind me love grows without conditions. I can only be the mother I know how to be and this is enough. It needs to be.

Yours in Kind.

Shel Silverstein’s Giving Tree: My hope is that our love will be as great but please be gentle with my heart.

The New Covid-19 Workplace

Are We Ready For The New Post COVID-19 Workplace?

A small child sitting on the floor playing with blocks, another nestled into his mom’s arms all the while she’s trying to juggle video conferencing and keeping her child calm. Covid-19 has dramatically changed the way most of us work, whether we are doing it from home, carefully finding ways to follow social distancing at the market, or finding ourselves at the unemployment line. In whichever form our work environments have taken we may have to live with our new reality that companies may either not recover or they will need to drastically change their adaptability for the near future.

My husband went to work last Monday like most days, he said good bye not knowing how different his return would be. He received news that day that everyone would be working from home, given the new Covid-19 guidelines given by the Montreal government. For many, the ability to work from home may seem like a godsend, but it may not be the bells and whistles we think. Being prepared for the transition is one thing but if you’re not, working from home can be confusing, tedious and inhibit efficiency.

It was a rough start, working through a proprietary VPN to connect to secured servers and the amount of bandwidth needed for all employees wasn’t enough. What to do with impending deadlines and tasks looking to be completed? He decided to work off-hours looking to complete needed tasks when others might find themselves offline; changing his work hours. While others found themselves working less because of disconnectivity, I found he was working more- working on his computer on things he was able to send back to his work computer and looking for “off-peak” hours and connecting remotely.

For those still employed in businesses where human contact seems to be constant. In those essential businesses that keep a city running and its citizens able to keep going. Some of those businesses are even hiring people as the boom of traffic has increased flow to markets, pharmacies and convenience stores. Positions that were before underpaid have received raises and overtime with fervor in the last few weeks, and will probably continue to work diligently until things start to calm down. (Not to mention the health care professionals and adjacent that are working nonstop at the moment.)

For those unlucky in working at what the government deemed as non-essential or small businesses that were deeply affected by less interest in their goods and services, may have found themselves without employers or employees. It may be difficult to grasp at what or if the stimulus packages proposed by governments will help and what qualifications some may have to prove of their worthiness. Their impending approvals still to be determined.

Instead of seeing this as a fore long lament we should see it as an opportunity. A chance to reset the way we think of the modern workplace, to go from cubicles to computer screens and the like. This may be an opportunity for industries to realize that flexibility and adaptability are the crucial crux on which to stake their businesses on. Some industries are better equipped than others but that doesn’t mean with a little ingenuity others can’t follow suit.

Some strategies that would help most businesses include a lean structure, re-analyzing what makes your business overburdened and seeing what could be done away with. Outsourcing is also another strategy- getting to what makes your business tick and becoming an expert in that and letting others handle the mundane. Thousands of businesses worldwide use sub-contractors or outside firms to handle payroll, hr and marketing and business development. How else could businesses be changing in the upcoming months? How can we change moving forward?

We still don’t know what the future of work will really look like but I hope we can take away some lessons from COVID-19.

5 Ways to Stay Calm Amid Worldwide COVID-19 Panic

So, we’re living in interesting times I gather. If you’ve been living under a rock you may not get that joke but for the rest of us, I hope you pretend anyway. On Friday, schools across Montreal were closed, public events canceled and gatherings of 250 or more people were discouraged. There were people panic buying, I admit I was one of them, but luckily we don’t have a car so my ability to buy was limited, unlike others’. Geez, the things people buy when they think the end is near. Tons and tons of meat and toilet paper, I guess we know where their head’s at.

The one thing though that did make my anxiety flare was that what had seemed so far away and removed was now in our faces and undeniable. I’d been watching the news like others, on and off, I can only take so much negative input, but in only 3 months we know found ourselves with what the W.H.O. confirmed as being a worldwide outbreak.

This infamous John’s Hopkins Map can give you all the feels for an anxiety attack, but remember that while there are now over 150,000 cases in red the best number to focus on is the green, the over 70,000 people that have recovered. Currently in Canada, there are over 300 confirmed cases but I’m sure there will be more before this is “over”.

So what can we do in order to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe and sane, because let’s be honest for the majority of us- it won’t be Covid-19 that gets us, it’ll be the stir-crazy. As a mom of a 21 month old it’ll be good to keep her busy, but it will also be good for myself, my mother-in-law and my husband, whose company is preparing for telecommuting as we speak.

The first and most important thing is to not obsess. Coronavirus is the number one trending topic on every news forum, Contagion is the trending search on Netflix, and everyone has run out of masks and hand sanitizers since forever. But regardless of Trevor Noah’s segment, This is How We Die, we probably won’t.

So here’s a few tips in order to make through to the other side:

Stay Informed, but Don’t Obsess

While it is good to keep up-to-date and apprised of the situation, it’s also important to not become obsessed. Watch the news if you want but just like constant email checking, it’s not going to be in your best interest. The worst thing if you’re feeling anxious would be to spend the entire day watching the news. That’s true today, just as it is every day.

Stay Busy

Whether or not you have kids and need to keep them occupied, or yourself, it’s good to have things to do. Don’t just binge watch Netflix and other streaming services. Keep busy! I’m sure there’s a hobby or two you’ve been meaning to pick up, a book you’ve been meaning to read, and a space you’ve been meaning to get organized. Lots of us are staying at home these days and if possible, working from home, but if that’s the option- cabin fever can definitely set it. Depending how long you’ll be at home. So make sure you stay busy and keep a schedule, it’ll keep you sane.

Innovate Indoor/Outdoor Activities

Since it’s all about staying inside, we need to bring the outdoors indoors.

There’s tons of Youtube videos on home fitness routines to keep yourself active and even more on ways to kill boredom. If you’re lucky to be in a place with good weather, crack those windows open and learn how to bird whistle. If you have a balcony and good weather, there’s nothing wrong with a little sunbathing. There’s always balcony gardening, too! That’s my plan anyway.

Activity Central

Pinterest is chock-full of activities to do with kids indoors, usually for the winter months but I think the same can apply. We may not all be children, but we can be children at heart. Depending on your interests- there’s puzzles, board games, card games, the hubby and I are going to try drawing dates. My grandmother is a big fan of crosswords, even making her own.

Tips on how to make your own Abuela’s crossword:

Look at the objects around you and write down 20 words. From those words see how many more words you can create, without re-using any of the letters. Keep writing words until you can’t anymore. It’s a good way to stretch those brain muscles.

Learn a New Skill

With the advent of online learning, there is a plethora of micro-learning opportunities from Youtube, Udemy, and one of my favorites Edx, that have courses from educational institutions from all over the world. Whatever platform you use, it’s the perfect opportunity to learn. Maybe take a master class from a literary great like on Masterclass or learn a new language on any number of applications, one of my favorite flashcard apps Anki, is an open source platform where you can create your own or flip threw ones created by someone else. It’s great, if you want to keep your new learned vocabulary on hand.

But above all else, keep your family and friends safe, wherever you are, whomever you may be. If you find yourself alone, make friends online or with your neighbors. Make sure to keep an eye on those of us most vulnerable, for they are the ones that need us the most.

As always,

Here We Go…

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.

It’s a journey that we take when we choose a life partner, a choice we make when we choose to have a family. It’s not often an easy choice or one that one should take lightly but we have been fortunate to be able to have come together and created something that we all love.

Sometimes when we look at the world around us; the division, the worldwide political upheaval, or even the impending doom that our reckless ways have created in climate change, we can often forget to hold our loved ones close. Sometimes it’s difficult, raising a child in today’s climate and it can sometimes feel overwhelming. I mean why is everyone allergic to peanuts now? For real, what happened?

So we do our best as parents, as people, trying to raise a generation that will do better than ours. Live consciously, be respectful of cultures, ours and everyone else’s and be themselves. It’s a lot of pressure, but we can only live one day at a time and hope for the best.

From Us To You

We’re an international family, both with strong cultural ties (Dominicans aren’t a sleeping giant, but we do ok and Chinese are much more of a diaspora that we were lead to believe), raising a toddler in Montreal, Quebec where I forgot they speak french (joke, but not really).

We speak 3 languages at home (4 if we include toddler-babble) and my bumbling french gets me by, but we also live in a pretty Anglo neighborhood so life is not that difficult. I love being greeted by “Bonjour/Hello” and being given the choice of language. I sometimes get away with an interaction in french and it makes my day (ah- small pleasures).

There are things we’re looking forward to in 2020, including my phase of “vegetarianism” (it’s a little late, but now better than never), family goals, date nights, fitness endeavors, family trips and finding out if my husband can play ball, as he claims (in six years, I’ve never seen him play basketball).

So 2020 has a lot of plans, both big and small, but it’ll hopefully be our best year yet.

Reach out!

We are not alone…

C​ooking

C​leaning

E​ducation